The Key to Building Rapport

 

“You want to work with people who you like and have an easy rapport with.” —Mike White

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

 

Rapport

Rapport helps us build close relationships in which we can work together and communicate with ease. In these relationships we empathize with each other and find commonalities that bring us even closer together. Rapport helps us to feel safe to share our dreams and fears. If rapport provides the foundation necessary for successful collaboration and mutual support, where should you start?

Relationships

Richard Bach said, “I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.” Rapport is about relationships and relationships are about give and take, mutual respect, and trust. When we develop respect and trust we feel safe. This safety allows us to open up, collaborate, and share new ideas. When we know we can count on someone to give as much as they take, we feel comfortable being there for them and turning to them in our times of need.

Empathy

Mohsin Hamid explained, “Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” You cannot develop a meaningful connection with another person without empathy. Empathy allows us to understand what it feels like to walk in the shoes of another. It helps to create a supportive and safe environment where there is genuine concern for one another. This genuine concern leads us to act, not just in our own best interest, but the interest of others as well.

Commonality

Barbara Deming believed, “The longer we listen to one another – with real attention – the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.” Finding commonality strengthens the relationships we build and the empathy we feel. When we ask questions and then really listen, we learn more about others, and the more common ground we will find. It’s easier to develop a close connection and strong relationship with those whom we feel we have thoughts, ideas, and experiences in common.

Building Rapport

When we build rapport, we improve our ability to develop meaningful relationships where communication and collaboration can thrive. Strong relationships built on trust and respect, empathy, and commonality contribute to developing the rapport that allows us to feel safe to share our hopes and dreams, as well as our deepest fears.

 

 

 

 

© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

 

Five Excuses That Kill Accountability-with Doug Dickerson

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The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.” – Steve Maraboli

As a leader there are few things more important than creating a strong and healthy organizational culture for your employees to thrive in. It’s up to you as the leader to be proactive and take the lead in developing the organizational climate you wish to have.

Unfortunately, many harmful behaviors threaten the fabric of the culture that you are trying to create. These behaviors include bullying, manipulation, office politics, etc., and they each pose a real threat. But there is one in particular that we would like to address – so here is our question: Is a victim mentality preventing accountability in your organization?

No doubt there are accountability measures in place within your organization that serve to track performance and measure each person’s progress. Accountability measures are healthy and necessary and keep everyone focused on shared goals and outcomes.

But what happens when a team member perpetuates a victim mentality? What does it sounds like? Here are five common claims that will give you some insight.

It’s not fair

The “it’s not fair” mantra is perhaps the oldest one in the book. It can be used when an employee feels that his or her work has gone unnoticed, was passed over for a raise or promotion, or has made an improper comparison of the value of their work in relation to a colleague. Whether justified or not, this feeling of being on the receiving end of unfair treatment is a source of concern. As a leader it is up to you to address it. Accountability makes sense when each person on the team has a clear picture of the value they bring to the organization. Don’t let an employee’s feelings of being slighted go unanswered.  When they see and understand their importance they will not see accountability as a threat.

Finger pointing

Finger pointing is so destructive because it’s so easy. It’s the first gesture of the least accountable. Yet sadly, the blame game is alive and well. But clear expectations of employee performance along with useful accountability guidelines will go a long way toward bringing an end to finger pointing and fault-finding. As a leader, you must take ownership of these expectations. When employees can build a collaborative team environment around the idea that “we are in this together”, it can unleash everything that is good and creative about your people. Finger pointing now gives way to mutual accountability, and fault-finding takes a back seat to an “I’ve got your back” mentality. Which would you rather have?

It’s Not My Job

When employees have the mindset that they are only responsible for specific, outlined tasks, it is easy for them to dodge accountability with the simple statement, ‘it’s not my job’. The most effective organizations are the ones where everyone has the opportunity to make an impact. As a leader, you must create a culture of collaboration and teamwork where everyone feels they have a vested interest in the outcome. Let employees see you roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done regardless of your formal job description. Achieve accountability by replacing the mindset of ‘it’s not my job’ with ‘I benefit when everyone participates as a whole’.

Feeling Powerless

Employees will not take accountability for decisions or tasks which they feel they have no control over. As a leader, you must provide employees with pertinent information and encourage them to ask questions. Then, give them the power to make decisions and design how their work gets done.  Accountability will increase dramatically when employees are given power and control over their own work.

Denying Responsibility

Employees often deny responsibility out of fear or frustration. They fear the repercussions for failure or they are frustrated by a lack of clear expectations and control over their work. As a leader, you must create a team mentality. Help employees understand that when one team member fails to carry their weight, they drag down the performance of the whole team. Inspire in them shared values and clearly communicate expectations. Teach problem solving and creative conflict resolution skills throughout your organization. Increase accountability by removing the fear of failure and building employee confidence by giving them a sense of control.

As a leader, it is your responsibility to develop a culture that encourages accountability and discourages a victim mentality. If your employees willingly accept accountability for their decisions and actions, your organizational effectiveness will skyrocket.

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson & Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Doug Dickerson is an internationally recognized leadership author, columnist, radio host, and speaker. He is the author of two books, Leaders Without Borders, 9 Essentials for Everyday Leaders, and Great Leaders Wanted! Follow him at www.twitter.com/managemntmoment. He lives just outside beautiful Charleston, SC. To invite Doug to speak email him at managementmoment@gmail.com

Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com

Taking Action

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“Action is the foundational key to all success.” —Pablo Picasso

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

 

Why Take Action?

Success is about action! It’s not what you know, who you know, or how lucky you are. It’s about what you do with what you have, where you are, right now. Taking action is a conscious choice. No one has ever achieved success by accident; every successful person made the decision to take action. Don’t know where to start; start by developing a clear vision for your future, decide what you must do to get there, and then take action. Not only is it important for you to motivate and discipline yourself to take action, but also to inspire others to act. Taking action become easier once you have a clear vision, authentic engagement, and confidence.

Vision

The Dalai Lama said, “In order to carry a positive action, we must develop here a positive vision.” What is your vision? What action can you take, that if done repeatedly, will result in you realizing that vision? Can you inspire others to take action with you? Learn to see the opportunities, in every situation. How can you use them to achieve your vision? Get others on the bandwagon; encourage them to contribute their great ideas and strategic thinking to your vision and plan for achieving it. Get specific with your vision; see it, and then go for it.

Engagement

It is easier to take action if you are engaged. Jack Welch stated, “An organization’s ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage.” Jack Welch’s comment applies on an individual as well as an organizational level. Engage yourself and others in envisioning new ideas, innovating, developing a strategy, and collaborating. Inspire the passion in yourself and others that lights the fire of action. Create an authentic connection to you goals and then become fully engaged in taking action.

Confidence

Dale Carnegie believed, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go get busy.” In order to take action, you must overcome your fear, complacency, and disengagement. This does not mean that you will not feel these things, only that you will not let them dictate your choice to take action. Taking action becomes easier once you develop the confidence you need to take risks and confront challenges head-on. Build your confidence; take action.

Taking Action

Joel Barker told us, “Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.” What is your vision? Can you see it? Now, how are you going to achieve it? Only through action can your dreams become real. Move yourself and others to take action. Start by creating a compelling, clear vision. Then light the fire of passion and engagement. Finally, grow your confidence. The one thing that separates those who achieve their vision from those who do not is action. Take action today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

 

Barriers to Employee Accountability

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“Accountability breeds response-ability.” —Stephen Covey

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

 

What is Accountability?

Accountability seems to be this all-encompassing, nebulous word. Ask ten people what accountability means to them and you will get ten different answers. Accountability boils down to taking ownership of one’s own thoughts, words, actions, and reactions. You are not a victim in this world, don’t act like one; and don’t foster a culture of victim mentality in your organization. So, what are some of the barriers to accountability that you should be looking out for?

 Lack of commitment

Vince Lombardi believed, “Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.” What is the level of commitment in your organization? Lack of accountability is directly related to a lack of commitment. So, how can you boost the commitment levels of your employees? Effective organizations have teams where everyone feels they have influence. When people feel like their voice is being heard, their investment in their work increases. Also, you must set and communicate a clear vision and direction so your employees know where you are going and what needs to be accomplished. How does each of your employees fit into your plan for success? The commitment level of your employees will drastically improve if they know the organization is going somewhere meaningful and that they are valued for their contribution to the overall success.

 Lack of ownership

Mary Barra explained, “What I always say is, ‘Do every job you’re in like you’re going to do it for the rest of your life, and demonstrate that ownership of it’.” Do your employees feel a sense of ownership of their work? One of the greatest barriers to accountability stems from how much control people feel they possess over their work. When employees are in control of the “what, when, and how” of a decision or action, their ownership and accountability skyrockets. When people feel that others are in control of how their work gets done, accountability decreases significantly. So, how can you increase the level of ownership your employees take of their work? Simply put, if you want people to be responsible you must clearly define the results you want them to deliver and then let them have control over how they deliver them.

Lack of resilience

Gever Tulley said, “Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.” How confident are your employees in their ability to work through difficult problems? How often are they given the opportunity? Does your organization provide a safe environment where failure is understood to be part of the learning process? So, how can you increase the resiliency of your employees? Start by training not only for technical, but also problem-solving skills. Develop a culture that encourages communication, collaboration, and the constructive resolution of conflict. Provide a trusting, safe environment where employees won’t fear failure. Help your employees set realistic objectives and then provide the productive feedback and training necessary for them to build confidence in their ability of work through the problems and overcome the challenges they encounter.

Remove the Barriers

Brett Hoebel told us, “If I could give one tip for people – it’s not an exercise or nutrition regimen. It’s to walk your talk and believe in yourself, because at the end of the day, the dumbbell and diet don’t get you in shape. It’s your accountability to your word.” How can you remove the barriers to employee accountability? Start by modeling the behavior you want to see. Can your employees see that you are accountable to you word? Show your commitment, ownership, and resilience through your words and actions. Help employees set objectives that are realistic, give them control over their work, and then require them to account for their decisions and actions; not to instill fear, but to grow confidence and ability. Further instill accountability by giving employees the skills and control needed to respond to tough problems. And then, in the end, celebrate the victories.

 

 

 

 

© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.